i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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