I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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