Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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