I puked a lego.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize