Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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