It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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