It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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