There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
