you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
