i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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