This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
