Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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