Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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