u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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