Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
