i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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