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Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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