I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
