I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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