i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
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They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
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Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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