Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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