If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
