Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
