his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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