Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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