Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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