My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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