Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
