then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize