i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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