You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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