508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
