Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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