Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize