It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
