You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
