I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
