Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
