i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
