idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You took a bar mat shot.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
