I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
