Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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