let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
