And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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