after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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