For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
