It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
