that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
