I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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