You work out of a Hotel?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
