Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize