i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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