I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
