I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
