wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize