Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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