Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
