What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line