No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
