question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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