plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
