Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize