I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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