Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
