I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
